I spent some time reflecting on the 12 weeks of my pregnancy, even pinpointing the day I miscarried. I remember the day vividly now. I didn’t realize I was having the miscarriage, but now I remember.

I had a dream around that time frame. We had a baby girl. She was in my arms. She was beautiful with her auburn curly hair and blue eyes. I was told her name was Rachel at the hospital. That wasn’t the name Mike and I longed for if we had a little girl. I was trying to change her name on the birth certificate and when all my attempts failed to change her name, Rachel disappeared. She was a happy, joyful, and a peacful baby while I had her.     

We’ve decided to name her Rachel. That was the only dream I had during my pregnancy about Rachel. I feel better when I think that she was an Angel. Mike and I formed her and God purposed her soul to join his side as an Angel. Sometimes souls are purposed to carry out his will here on earth and sometimes they’re heavenly purposed. I also believe that God wants us to build a blessed family.

“I know God can read my heart. He knows my sadness and he understands.”  

-Christine O’Keeffe Lafser, “An Empty Cradle, A Full Heart”